ive had two weeks of vacation as i prepare to start at a new job (thats right, ARCHINES DID THAT). as this new stage in life quickly approaches, im appreciating this precious opportunity to pause and reflect on my present self.
ive seen a slow yet confident shift in my personal goals concerning my career, my relationships, my environment. these goals were guided by examining what i absolutely need, rather than what i want.
this idea of “enough” is so powerful.
i came across this poem by kurt vonnegut about a conversation with fellow writer joe heller:
Joe Heller
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!”
— Kurt Vonnegut
The New Yorker, May 16th, 2005
in other words → you could rule the entire world, but if you don’t regard what you have as enough, you will never be happy. work towards who you want to become, but realize what you already have.
so what is it that i need?
my desire for growth comes from the stability of having what i need. what are those needs? i began by outlining some questions for myself using the categories defined in maslows hierachy of needs:
basic needs → do i have the resources to take care of my physical and mental health? what is “enough” financial security?
psychological needs → am i in an environment where i can grow community? do i have flexibility to travel and see my family? do i have the time to grow and maintain friendships? to build a partnership? am i giving and receiving the amount of affection i need?
self-actualization needs → am i putting myself in positions to develop my self esteem? to grow/nurture my self-fulfillment? what about creative endeavours? am i seeking ways of practicing my truest self?
as i explore the answers i must make sure to be as realistic and honest with myself as possible. they must be rooted in NEEDS not wants. and whoever is reading this will answer these questions their own way. even more, your set of questions are most likely entirely different than mine.
the finish line will move.
enough is never enough for the person who enough is too little. if you only tell yourself that you will be happy if, or ill feel better when, you will never get there. the finish line will move.
if you can get to a place of “enough”, where everything you have is good, then everything else just becomes extra. its a bonus. we each define our enough, which informs the happiness and fulfillment of our own timeline. as i take this moment to reflect on this transitional moment in my life, i cant help but think about how much i have that truly exceeds my needs. i have so many reasons to feel so full.
currently channeling:
