im obsessed with my home. i’m constantly dusting, wiping, spraying, fluffing. i have a nightly wind down routine (think mood lighting, ginger turmeric tea, and candles). im religious about my tuesday spa nights (think skin masks, robes, and late night snack plates). i bring a homemade baked good to every gathering and i rarely eat out.
when im not home, i crave home. theres a joy to being surrounded by things you love. theres joy in safety, comfort, and consistency. i feel grateful to have a home to miss. its a feeling i welcome as i get older — its not that i dont want a life of adventure, but the idea of adventure has changed. theres nothing i need to escape from. my escape is right here.
when i think about my childhood, i dont really remember my toys or my clothes but rather the general nostalgia of simplicity, happiness, and family. its a nostalgia thats impossible to conquer with just physicality. moving back to the walls within my childhood home won’t give me back that feeling of safety, but making homemade empanadas and watching survivor with my dad will. those are the kind of moments im creating in my home now. moments filled with simple joys and friends that are family.
ive been thinking a lot about my future family. my future children. eventually their world will be their own, but its a world i will create. a world based on what i know and value. so much of what im nostalgic for now is the world my parents created for me. of course i will want to give my family ALL the things, my heart already bursts with love to even think about them and what could be. i know they wont remember every detail, but if they can grow up missing home and longing for simpler times i will know i did a good job. to miss is to value.
ive made a home out of my corner of brooklyn. this is my corner, mi casita. i live every day knowing that one day ill be nostalgic for everything right here, right now. and that shows that im doing something right. in order to miss a home, you have to make a home.
currently channeling:
